Office Heat

Don't, in any circumstance, let your boss know about your office romances. For all you know, your boss has a secret admiration for the person you're having the romance with. Or, your boss might not like the concept of people working together boning each other. In any case, it could end up real messy. You both might find yourselves looking out for new jobs in the classified section of the newspaper. So don't take that chance.

If you're working and you get a glimpse of someone's cleavage or something, and you get a hard on, don't make it too obvious. A natural impulse would be to rush to the bathroom and pour cold water on Junior so settle him down. The problem with this reaction that you might get seen running with the bone sticking out, or you'll wet your pants. The proper reaction should be: crouch a bit in your cubicle, close your eyes, and whisper to yourself, "Grandma, grandma, grandma."

Never do your romantic stunts inside the office. The birds and the bees belong outside. Don't believe what you see in the movies. The part where two people have sex on the elevator, it's never going to happen to you. Just remember this-- Work in the office, fuck on the outside.